Take a sport known as the quintessential game for rich white males.
Add a YouTuber who’s keen to promote his love of said pastime.
Produce an instructional video on the merits of hitting a golf ball with a single-minded purpose of defeating your opponent with magnanimous and calm relief.
Spend ages over your transitions; the variety of fonts on display and the attention you’ve paid to your use of colours to ‘wacky’ it up – keep it fun dude!
Decide said video should not have a suitably gung-ho title like Ace The Hole or Hole Lotta Love or the old evergreen classic U-S-A-R-U-L-ES. While you’re at it, eschew the typical soundtrack choice for such a video as this. No Journey or Whitesnake for you, no siree.
You (and your knackered Converse hiding under the biggest flares seen on a golf course since Tony Jacklin assigned his to the back of his wardrobe and inked a deal with Lyle & Scott and Farah slacks) are an indie fan.
A golfer, certainly; a wannabe YouTuber; probably; an indie freak, abso.
So you do three things:
- Title the video after the song which soundtracks it: Some Cities by Doves.
- Create something that is never going to trouble MOMA, the ICA or the Tate Gallery over whether it should be selected for viewing, but is extremely well-matched in an unexpected and pleasing way. Feel a little bit of urban, sodden Manchester amidst your Caddyshacking dreaming of the plush Augustan greens… toss an imaginary needle or bag of spice right in the middle of a patch of azaleas.
- Sit back and clock the viewing figures rise.
47 thousand or so folk feel like him – and me. Join the crowd…